A boozed up Aussie???

A boozed-up Australian fisherman wrestled a 1.3-metre shark onto a jetty, suffering only small tears in his pants. Phillip Kerkhof, 41, caught the bronze whaler shark by hand after he spotted it chasing squid lures at Louth Bay, South Australia. "I just snuck up behind him and eventually I went for the big grab and I fluked it and got him," he told Australian Broadcasting Corp. The area near Louth Bay, around the southern tip of South Australia's Eyre Peninsula, is well known for sharks and live shark action for the 1975 movie Jaws was filmed nearby. Mr. Kerkhof, who said he had "a fair few vodkas" beforehand, added he only realized the danger of his actions the next day. "It's not something I'd recommend to do," he said. "When I sobered up I thought about it and I said, 'I'm a bit of an idiot doing it.' "

I came across this in the Montreal Gazette and I thought this is exactly the type of situation that should befall all pretentious eateries that insist they only cater to the semi-infamous 'Paris Hiltons'
of the world....But don't send Graydon Carter back we're trying to clean house.

“ Graydon Carter, the leftwing editor of Vanity Fair, has reopened Ye Waverly Inn, but seating is restricted to an elite who get the ‘hush hush’ top secret reservation number. What a classic, fatuous liberal. He preaches diversity but practices exclusion. The Post notes the wait staff is ‘all male’ and ‘all model- like.’ Send this phony back to Canada where he came from and force him to bring the poseurs, rear-end kissers … and half- assed celebrities with him.”

Above is a pic of The Old Town Bar, where you can be sure I'll stop in for a few on my next trip to Manhattan.

Euro english

Thanks to this blogger for this priceless piece of humour

The EU Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.

The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.


Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.